Perfection: A Rant
When I started this blog, I had a list of all these topics I wanted to cover and a relatively strict posting cadence. I didn’t want to put myself out there only to have half-assed, overly-clichéd content. If I was doing something, it better be perfect.
Striving for this elusive “perfection” always tends to immobilize me. I am a chronic overthinker (oMg yOu’Re sO UniQuE) as those close to me, or even not close to me, can attest to. Growing up, every essay would take me hours just to get the “right” first line and every project had to be some huge undertaking (honestly though still proud of my manatee video and my Iroquois longhouse diorama).
So now, with this blog, I’ll have an idea for a post and discreetly set up a camera in the gym so as to not draw any attention (since, obviously, everyone is watching me and all collectively thinking “another wanna-be fitness girl doing glute workouts, shocking”). I will then ultimately not post it for a variety of different reasons, ranging from poor video quality to the ever-favorite “I was bloated.”
When I was FaceTiming with my family the other night, my dad brought up the blog and how I hadn’t posted since over a month ago. Annoyed, I gave a bunch of excuses - I’ve been busy with work and vacations and studying for my NSCA-CPT exam.
The real answer? None of my posts felt good enough. I made some “grand announcement” to everyone that I’m friends with on Instagram or Facebook that I was starting this whole new website where I’d share all this cool fitness knowledge and… why? Would people even be able to take me seriously? Who in the world is going to read an article on hip thrusts by me when they can do a quick search and read one by Bret Contreras, Ph.D, CSCS, Glute King, First of His Name?
But then, I get questions from friends, friends-of-friends, acquaintances that I haven’t seen since high school, and it clicks.
I’m not some professional athlete who was born with 6’11 genetics, suckling from a basketball as soon as he popped out the womb. I’m also not some untouchable Instagram model with hundreds of thousands of followers and 24 hours in the day dedicated to going to the gym and getting sponsored lip injections (no shade!!!!!!! good for them!!!).
I’m someone who gets it.
I get coming home from work at 7PM wanting to lay down, but needing to clean your apartment but also cook dinner but also go to the gym. I get the pain of setting an alarm for 5AM to force yourself to go to a workout class you don’t have the energy for. I get buying all the organic vegetables at Whole Foods since you feel ~*motivated*~ to meal prep… but then end up Postmates-ing every day instead. I get not having the money to take 5 workout classes a week and hold a gym membership and get weekly CBD-oil massages in an infrared sauna.
TL;DR: I’m sorry for not posting. If you’re here, I’m assuming you’re looking for *real* advice and *real* thoughts and not HBO-quality workout video productions. I’m not going to strive for perfection because then I’ll continue in this cycle of disappointment → disenchantment → disengagement.
I’m not saying don’t be ambitious. I’m not saying this is an excuse to accept mediocrity. I’m just saying be realistic. Have big dreams, but set achievable goals and celebrate those small wins along the way. You’re killing it, I promise.